Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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