This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
