and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
