No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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