I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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