dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize