better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
