why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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