Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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