This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
