People in love make me want to vomit
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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