i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize