I am full of burrito and curiosity
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
