God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
