i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
