You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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