and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
