It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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