My room smells like vodka and shame
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
