Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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