is your mom at the bar?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
