real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
