You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize