You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
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Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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