Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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