Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
