How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The air was thick with penises
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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