I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
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I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
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Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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