This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
