This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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