Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
