it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
