My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
