508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
