I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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