we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
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My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
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Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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