So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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