I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
What a dumb baby whore.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
