It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
