It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
