One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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