Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
