He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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