so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
