i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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