Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
A+ Viking dick
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
