singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
