Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
