One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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