I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
