Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
