I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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