It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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