I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
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Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
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You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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