is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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