I'm drive I can fine osifer
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
