maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
