i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
