Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
