nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
